Tangent for the Tangible

Greetings, Lately I have been mainly just typeing up poems from my notebook, so I decided to have a little change of pace. Today I watched a video that I found underneith a bunch of stuff, curious, I decided to pop it in the VCR. As the first frame of color lit up on the TV screen, I heard his voice. Robin, my stepdad...I heard his voice. I haven't had that opportunity since...well it seems like almost yesterday now. Though I never actually got to see him in the family video, that was still him behind the camera, still him talking...laughing. This was so hard to watch, knowing his is dead now. I remember at one point in the video, I saw his reflection in a window. It was him...alive. It doesn't take much until an entire ocean of realization presses down on you to know, how much you really miss someone. People take everything like it's going to be remade tommorow, or rebuilt just like it was to begin with. The truth is, nothing is like that. Sure it can be replaced to an extent, but never refilled entirely. There will always be that empty void, or a slightly misshapen puzzel peice. It phisically can never be the same thing it was. And I konw I am never going to be the same person I was then. Yes, I am me- breathing, speaking, and alive me. But never, will I see the same family I saw before, or even look mirror, and see the same face. Now matter how much the wound is candy coated- apearing to be just another regular, happy peice of flesh, that doesn't dissolve the fact that there is infact still a wound had. If all of my metaphorical nonsense is making no sense to you, then I suppose I could just say it plain and simple. I can't cover up the real emotion forever.